Feb. 4, 2014 (2/4/2014)
Sunday was Groundhog Day and my birthday, and I was traveling to Jefferson City for training for a new job, I’m excited to be starting! According to Google Maps, it was just over a 4 hour journey, and had me taking secondary roads to my destination.
I knew there wasn’t a direct road, so wasn’t worried about the route.
I left the house just after 2 pm, stopped to fill up, and run into Walmart quickly for a new pair of sunglasses, since the baby had made short work of my pair the day before, so I estimated that with a couple short stops I’d arrive no later than 8 pm.
It was snowing heavily, almost verging on white-out conditions, hence adding extra time to my estimation. In places I was driving on an inch and a half of ice, but the going went well, and I was able to do 40-50 mph, except when I got behind someone on the road who was going 30.
When I reached Ellington, the GPS went wonky, and was trying to point me back home. I remember feeling the hairs on my arms and on my neck standing up, so in retrospect I guess it was some sort of electrical storm I went through. I kept following the blue line on the GPS on my phone, but I kept getting a nagging feeling something was wrong, so I pulled into a service station to ask for directions, and to check if I was on the right road. (Thankfully, once I had passed that town the snow had stopped, and gradually there was less and less snow and ice on the road, until there was none!)
I was bound and determined to keep going, to get to Jefferson City for my training, for my first day of work! I wasn’t going to let anything stop me!
I found out I was around 50 miles off course, and the gal was very helpful and showed me on a paper map where we were so I could see where I needed to go, then gave me the map. She pointed out the way to a road I could take to get back on track.
The road led me through the Mark Twain National Forest, and at night (yes, it was already after dark) the winding road with tree branches hanging low over head from trees pressing in almost to two feet off the road, and in some places almost forming an arched tunnel of black bare limbs and fingers(!), was a little spooky to drive through. There was only one other car on the road ahead of me, and I kept pretty close to it, not wishing to be completely alone!
Once I was on the right road, heading to my destination, I had a lot of time to think. I thought the whole string of events strange, and since it was Groundhog Day, and my birthday to boot, I was feeling almost like it was a weird sci-fi episode.
I was wondering if there was some reason I had been detoured through the forest, a desolate route in the winter I wouldn’t have chosen. I was wondering if there was something I was supposed to see, or a person I was supposed to bump into. Yes, I was thinking that way! I’ve had many serendipitous events happen in my life, with the Universe leading me places, so I was wondering if this was another such event happening.
I also got to thinking how the Universe will lead us down unknown and unplanned roads in our lives! Things do happen, in spite of strong visualization of our desired goals!
I know this goes contrary to the teachings from the movie “The Secret”, which puts each of us in the driver’s seat of our lives, and teaches us how to make our dreams come true!
What if things don’t go according to plan? The Universe, or God, steps in to show us that we aren’t always as in charge of our lives as we would like to imagine!
Life throws us a curve ball! Sometimes a whole bunch of them!
Here’s where the teachings derail many people: their lives get thrown a curve ball, they get hit hard with a crushing setback, and then the doubts and self blame set in. “What did I do wrong? Did I not envision strongly enough? Did I allow my thoughts to swerve even a bit? Did I not want it enough? Where did I go wrong”
The self blame, the finger pointing, the self-recrimination that comes after, can feel overwhelming, and the emotional nosedive is difficult to get out of.
The ‘blame the victim’ thought pattern is very difficult to pull ourselves out of.
What if it weren’t completely up to us? What if there are other things at work? What if it weren’t all our desires and our wills, but that there might be something other than ourselves making some things happen in our lives?
I’ve had serendipitous events happen in my life many times, some of which started out seemingly terribly, but much later down the road I realized that things had turned out well, and had the difficult event I had lived through not happened, then the subsequent chain of events wouldn’t have happened.
So I relaxed on my drive, realizing that the reason why I had been brought through the forest was probably not as important as being open to what might happen next. I did enjoy my journey, not because I saw spectacular scenery along my way since it was either blinding snow or dark, but because I felt proud of myself for making a long drive under some difficult and adverse conditions, which had I let it, might have put me off.
Life is constantly changing, many times this is invisible to us, for we can’t always know the Universe’s plan for us, which is far greater than each of our separate dreams! Sometimes life brings us through a course change, that is scary to go through, and if we allow our fears to get the best of us, we can focus on the negative and it can overwhelm us at times.
When we look back at a difficult situation we have gone through, and I’ve done this many times, I’ve realized that my fears in those moments made my time of difficulty so much worse that it actually was. I was in dread of all the possible negative things that might happen, all the possible horrors I might have yet to endure, that my time was so, so much worse.
The actual events, while yes, they were difficult, were made dreadful by the power of my thoughts.
I’ve been learning to be open to where the Universe is leading me. To trust that it will take care of me (it always has), and that it has good things in mind for me!
I still need to go through things which are difficult, but now my fears don’t consume and control me. When I was driving through the blowing snow and through the miles of desolate dark (and scary) forest, I was feeling calm. I was alert to the potential dangers around me, but I wasn’t gripped in fears.
This is important I think on our journey in life! We will be brought off course at times, but how we react to it makes all the difference!
We have what it takes to get through, for remember, this is all about making us awesome! Peace!
And of course, a little from the book:
The Lesson of ‘Randomness’ of Life
Click on any image to see it on Fine Art America!
“In order there is chaos,
In chaos there is randomness,
And in randomness, there is Beauty.” – Tamara Kulish
The poem I wrote above, points out that not everything is controllable or predictable, life can still be fulfilling when it isn’t, and it’s usually when it’s not, that the greatest things happen in our lives.
The lessons of randomness: by learning to be really open to what life brings and trusting that we will be able to create a life from whatever is brought to us, is a deep lesson to learn in order to overcome our fear.
For the fear of the unknown takes its power from our apprehension that we lack the strength and creativity to handle the next things life brings us and that we can find happiness in it. This fear, when we allow it to take hold of the basic cornerstones of our spirits, shakes us up so much that we lose control of our calmness and we lose our trust in our abilities.
“Normal is an illusion.
What is normal for the spider
is chaos for the fly.” – Morticia Adams
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