What happens after you have found what you have been seeking?

The Only Zen You Find at the Tops of Mountains

“The only Zen you find at the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring there.” – Robert M. Pirsig. One of the quotes which is included in the book “On Becoming a Lemonade Maker” by Tamara Kulish. A gorgeous sunset captured as we were crossing the mountains going into California. It was so bright it looked like a huge fire was raging just beyond view, and this intense brightness didn’t last for very long before it was completely dark.

I spent most of my life seeking answers… to life, to my job and career path, how to live and how to love.

What did I expect would happen when I found the answers I was looking for? Did I think I would live in a state of constant enlightenment?

I was rather surprised to find out that once I had learned what I craved to learn, then wrote about it and got it published that my feelings of worry and anxiety had quietly slipped away and instead what had replaced all that worry and anxiety was a sense of openness. Openness?

Openness to what life and the Universe will bring me next. I find it interesting sometimes to look upon myself with a sense of detachment, almost like looking at someone else, and when I do, I see this new feeling of calm.

Click on any image to see it on Fine Art America!

“A mind is like a parachute. It works best when it is open.” - Frank Zappa. One of the quotes which is included in the book "On Becoming a Lemonade Maker" by Tamara Kulish. A Night-time Hot Ait Balloon Glow is truly a magical experience in Tucson, Arizona!

In previous years I was in a couple of churches long-term and I didn’t feel this before… perhaps in part because I was being judged harshly… but also perhaps because I had not yet completed this step of my life.

Though I haven’t yet reached the point of fame, I’m living in a time of contentment and gratitude… not because I have an abundance of money or possessions, but because I’ve passed the time of desperately seeking, and have birthed a difficult child (my Lemonade book!)

This creation will find its way into people’s hearts and be of great help to some people, even shortening the length of suffering for someone else. I don’t mean to say this in any sort of a superior sounding way at all, so if I’ve come across this way then I apologize!

I’ve been doing some thinking about all this, (I know, that’s dangerous!) and I realized the turning point came gradually… It wasn’t a sudden change in my way of thinking, but a slow and gradual process.

Once I started to look back and try to remember what I hoped to feel, I was struck that I’m not quite feeling what I thought I would be, and so that became the basis of this post.

This realization came to me the other day very clearly.

I’m still going through all the normal ups and downs we go through in life, but my perspective is different now.

Part of that may have come about by living through the experience of helping my daughter with the kids when the baby went through her second battle with cancer and having my marriage fall apart while I held a sick baby in my arms in the hospital. Those kinds of things change us on a deep soul level.

(I don’t believe that it’s necessary for many people to go sit at the feet of an awesome Guru, but instead to allow ourselves to be transformed by life’s challenges and trials. To emerge on the other side a deeper and more balanced person is difficult, especially when the emotional pain can rub us raw, but it’s definitely possible and do-able!)

“The soul would have no rainbow, had the eye no tear.”- Unknown. One of the quotes which is included in the book "On Becoming a Lemonade Maker" by Tamara Kulish. This watery looking photo is a close-up of a blown glass orb with the sunshine twinkling through it creating an abstract effect.

I didn’t realize in what ways I would come to change, but now that I’m living on the other side of the tunnel, life strangely isn’t very different, but my levels of worry and anxiety have greatly diminished.

“You don’t go through a deep personal transformation without some kind of dark night of the soul.” – Sam Keen. One of the quotes which is included in the book "On Becoming a Lemonade Maker" by Tamara Kulish. The new moon was hanging in the sky seemingly beside a tall palm tree in Tucson Arizona one evening at sundown.

Interestingly, I needed to remind myself of the lessons I had learned, and to put them into practice. In the beginning, it was more difficult, but as time went on, I needed to give myself less and less of a powerful kick in the butt.

I’m grateful to be living in this state of mind right now, and will be taking careful care of it, to nurture this peace and calm. I know how bad the other side can get, so my advice to myself and to others is to choose to let the past go.

“You can’t start the NEXT chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” - Unknown. One of the quotes which is included in the book "On Becoming a Lemonade Maker" by Tamara Kulish.

I won’t fear slipping back into it, for fear creates that state of mind. If I do fall back into it, I know I have the tools now to talk my mind out of it.

I’ve learned I have worth and value, that I have a place here, and that I have things to accomplish… as do we all actually!

So… come with me? Follow me through the tunnel to the other side?

“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways: Either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, Or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.” – Dalai Lama. One of the quotes which is included in the book "On Becoming a Lemonade Maker" by Tamara Kulish.

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