Many of us have experienced situations when someone doesn’t like us for no apparent reason. A Kinder Way posted on this too, on April 18th and gave some excellent advice on what you should to do: NOTHING. If that sounds shocking, to you, please read her whole article!
I’ve had my own terrible experience, and today I’m going to share WHAT can HAPPEN! It’s a true tale, but I’m past all that now:
Years ago back when I was in a church and we were divided up into groups according to our “needs” I was with other moms, mostly single moms like I was, and my group leader was a woman who didn’t like me. I had no idea why she was being so hard on me while she was kind to others.
Much later she told me I reminded her of her MOTHER. She had a difficult relationship with her mother and ended up transferring her feelings onto me, and because I was “subordinate” to her and wasn’t allowed to argue back, or so she told me, I received the brunt of her pent up feelings.
This was devastating to me, because my daughter and I were both going going through severe health issues and needed kindness and support. Due to the way she treated me, other people took their cue from her.
In order to justify her treatment of me to the church hierarchy she told them that what my daughter and I were experiencing with our health issues (I had chronic Shingles and severe fatigue from the pain, while my daughter had severe IBS) was all in our heads, that we were creating our illnesses in our heads. I was told that God was “correcting” us because of “my undisclosed sins“… Effectively saying I was a terrible Christian!
As a result of that I ended up being shunned by many except the “lowest” ranking people in the church, because no one wanted me to influence them in a bad way.
With everything that was going on in our lives, this negative brainwashing led me to the point where I felt that no matter how hard I tried I’d never be a good Christian or be pleasing to God, that I didn’t deserve to breathe the air or walk the earth.
That was a very difficult and dark time in my life.
Yes, I’ve left that church! It was either leave the church or leave this earth! (Yes, I had it all planned out too!) I left the church!
This is an extreme example of not liking someone… And illustrates what can happen when we act on our feelings of not liking someone for reasons that may have nothing to do with them!
So is it better to do nothing when we don’t like someone? Well, apart from staying away from them, yup!
If someone doesn’t like us for no apparent reason, or at least none that we can see, and if they haven’t disclosed why they don’t like us, is it better for them to ignore us and stay away from us?
Probably yes!! That person may have issues of their own that they don’t wish to transpose onto us! Given what happened to me, isn’t that a whole lot better?
That person may consciously recognize where their feelings are coming from and until they resolve those deep issues, a friendship with them might be beyond what they’re capable of!
Complete list from the 2016 A to Z Challenge:
A is for Art for Animals by Artfully Framed
B – Blue Ocean Thinking? What’s that?
C – Compass… Or more specifically, a Moral Compass!
D – Divide and Conquer… The Start of Racism
E – Endorsements… What DO we stand for?
F – Focus on our THOUGHTS and bridge the GAP between Religion and Non-Religion.
G – Gym memberships… No time? No money? No problem!
H – Healing + Art = Awesomeness!
I – Inspiration!
J – Joint Pain, Arthritis and RA… My Personal Tips!
K – Kindness!
L – Laughter, It’s About a Sense of Humor!
M- More Than Milk and Honey for Anxiety!
N – Note Writing and Making To-Do Lists… Here’s a NEW trick!
O – Overbooking Ourselves, and Kicking ourselves After!
P – The Power of Positive Words!
Q – Questioning our Life’s Missions!
R – Re-Blogging… Here’s a few of my favorites!
S – Sleep your way to success … A different take!
T – This Productivity Trick Will Make Your Snooze Button a Thing of the Past!
U – Understanding Strange Dreams!
V – Vocational Training for Free!
W – What CAN happen when someone doesn’t like us for no apparent reason!
X – XXX’ed Out! Mistakes and blame.
Y – You’re wrong about that!
Z – Zero Dollars!